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No secrets during courtship, counselor advises intending couples

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Mrs Destiny Iheukwumere, a Marriage Counselor in Abuja advised intending couples not to keep secrets during courtship, stressing that issues which may cause problems in their marriage should be truthfully discussed.

Iheukwumere gave the advised on Friday.

She said that a lot of problems in marriage could be avoided if couples took time to understand themselves.

She added that “marriage is good and many couples are truly enjoying it but there are many others who seem to be in perpetual pain because of their marriage.

“Each time I come across a man or woman going through emotional pains because of marriage, I try to find out what could have gone wrong.

“I often found that most marriages started on “faulty foundation’. Sometimes one or both parties lied to start the relationship and various other reasons.

The counselor said that many singles took many things for granted during courtship and may end up in pains with actions they could not correct during marriage.

According to her, prospective couples should trash out gray areas before marriage, and listed such areas to include age, background and religious beliefs.

She said age was one factor that could make some singles, especially ladies, to ignore some things that should have been addressed before marriage.

She added that “the thought that age is no longer on my side makes ladies to go for anyone.”

The issue of racial or tribal preference was another factor to trash out “as there are men and women who have preference over the tribe or origin of their spouse.”

Iheukwumere cautioned singles who were class conscious to be careful in order not to miss their real partner.

“When you love someone, social status or class is irrelevant. Many have missed the one who will have loved them limitlessly because they didn’t fit into their class.

“True love is classless; do not be careless about matters of the heart; don’t over assess yourself just to get married and don’t count yourself super patient when you cannot take the slightest offence,” she advised.

She also stressed the need for openness and sincerity in every relationship.

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